Your Business Toolkit Part 2: Conflict Comfort

Conflict is an interesting thing; it can be easy to identify individuals that enjoy it, and those who hate and avoid it, but it’s less easy to find--maybe because it’s more rare?--people who are simply comfortable with it.

One possible reason that it sparks reactions on opposite ends of the spectrum might be because it’s often coordinated with misguided ideas about compassion. It may feel wrong to someone who is highly compassionate to confront another individual. (On the flip side, someone who does not have a high degree of compassion for others may be a little tone deaf about how to proceed with criticism or correction without seeming harsh.) 

The word “compassion” evokes different feelings for different people. For some, it may be associated with “feeling sorry” for someone, or it may make them think about taking action on behalf of someone else. Others may feel that it’s a word that represents weakness.

As a certified independent Facilitator of the Leading Out of Drama® system for conflict resolution, I can attest to the power of what that program terms “Compassionate Accountability®”; a pairing of empathy for an individual with encouraging the taking of responsibility. Conflict isn’t something to be shied away from, it’s necessary for resolving problems and achieving positive outcomes.

There are several aspects to conflict resolution that all tie together and form a complete system, but the foundation for future learning about it is built on simply being comfortable with conflict.

 Acknowledging that it’s a fact of life that we will have disagreements and challenges in coming to common conclusions about procedures or practices is not only a good implement to have in your business toolkit, it’s valuable for all areas of life. Respecting each other as individuals is key for maintaining connection, and when there is disagreement about a situation, that respect (paired with Personality Awareness) will guide your communication (hopefully) and keep conflict to a minimum. However, in the event it happens, your comfort with it will keep your thinking clear and unclouded by excessive stress.

Strike a Balance.

If you imagine balancing your respect for the individual with the need for responsibility in conflict resolution, you’ll likely achieve a tone and process that is focused without lacking compassion. This could lower your potential for hurting feelings (and circumventing progress). If you are someone who usually avoids conflict out of fear of creating drama or offending people, add more weight to the need for encouraging responsibility and it will help you get things done, while still being considerate. 

Raising your Conflict Comfort quotient doesn’t mean that you like drama, and dialing it down from enjoyment to simple comfort doesn’t mean that your personality is being quashed. It simply means you’re engaging in respectful, compassionate communication designed to keep your purpose on track.

Which is a worthwhile goal, always.